Functioning kneecaps are, like, totally overrated!

Well as I mentioned in previous entries, I'm currently having a little trouble in the knee department, brought on by a fall in the snow a couple of weeks ago. Initially they thought I'd torn my Cruciate Ligament, but after a couple of visits to the doc and an MRI, they reckon the ligaments are intact, so I was dispatched to physio. Huzzah! Or so I thought.

My first physio session was on Saturday, and it basically involved them trying to assess what was actually wrong with my gammy old knee. Well, after much poking and prodding, they now reckon the problem is with my kneecap, apparently it's too far over to the right. The therapist had to tape it back into the right place, which was almost vomit inducing, and the plan was that I would go back during the following week for more treatment. Oh yes, it was a good plan. Until...............the stupid snow came back.

I mean, I just don't understand it, hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people have voiced their dislike of the snow, so you'd think it'd just take the hint and feck off. But oh no, it's back. And like the cantankerous elderly relative that nobody wants to sit beside, it looks like it'll be staying for Christmas. I suppose I can't be entirely mad at my gammy knee, because had it not been for it's gamminess, I would surely have been among the hoards of weary travelers battling their way home through the blizzard this evening. And no doubt I'd also have had to contend with assorted knackers throwing snowballs, as I walked to my apartment.

So maybe the knee injury was a blessing in disguise? Well, lets not go that far, but I suppose things could be worse! The real pain in the arsey bits are being unable to drive (if the snow clears up enough), and not being able to go out and play in the snow. For now, I'll have to make do with Terri the Snow Transvestite, who I built on my bedroom windowledge. Here's a picture of him/her for you all to enjoy.

Fairy Lights? Fairly shite...

Christmas approaches, and as is customary in this part of the world, I thought it would be proper to festoon our balcony with twinkly lights. Several years ago I bought a set of those 'snow lights', you know, the ones with strands of fairy lights hanging down so it looks like icicles or snow hanging off the roof or whatever? So anyhoo, after about 4 years of loyal service, the fairy lights were looking a bit the worse for wear, so we decided to get a new set.

With that in mind, we set out for our local DIY store (part of a scurrilous chain that once were fortunate enough to count me among their employees) and headed straight for the Christmas section. Of course, what with it being less than a fortnight before the big day, pickings were decidedly slim in the fairy lights aisle. The only ones left were either ridiculously expensive or ridiculously tacky, or both. We had almost lost hope, when we came across a box of 320 'Snowing' lights. Pretty much the same as what we had before, except that they were multifunction - not my preference - but given the circumstances I can totally live with that. 'Job done' we thought, and headed home.

That was when the fun started in earnest. Our apartment is at the corner of the building, so our balcony is what estate agents would refer to as "dual aspect" - it covers two sides of the building- so getting the lights up each year is a bit tricky. Firstly, they have to go out a window, then along the railing on one side, then around a pillar in the corner, and along the railing on the front. It's not too bad if you've just got a length of standard lights, but with these snow lights it's much more difficult, seeing as they get tangled up with everything they come in contact with (the BBQ, potted plants, the dog, my crutches, you get the idea). All this was compounded by the fact that a) I'm on crutches and b) it was absolutely freezing out, so trying to hold the wires along the metal railings while we secured them with cable ties got increasingly tricky as we made our way around due to severe numbness setting in to my hands and fingers!

So after much swearing and disentangling, the lights were up and looking spiffy! We only lost one finger and three toes to frostbite, so it was considered a success all around. I went to bed filled with festive cheer, looking forward to dreams of sugar plum fairies and other Holiday clichés.

When I awoke this morning, I stumbled into the living room to turn on the lights and grab a cuppa, and all seemed normal. As I sat on the sofa enjoying my Lyons (it should have been Barry's Gold Blend but that's another story), I noticed that there seemed to be fewer lights on the balcony than there had been yesterday. On closer inspection I discovered that no fewer than 15 out of the roughly 40 strands of lights weren't working!! So now, we've to go through the whole rigmarole in reverse, pack the lights back in the box - which, thankfully, I didn't put in the recycling - and drive back to the store to return them. Then, presumably, we'll have to find another set of lights and repeat the entire debacle tomorrow night. Oh the fun.